I have great kids, they are the loves of my life. I wish I was closer to them physically and emotionally, living in Hawaii is wonderful but it is a long way from Oklahoma City. The cost of visiting can be prohibitive, I miss them a lot and I miss being around my beautiful granddaughters.
My son Pat is a good man, he’s smart, goodlooking, and a good dad. He has a good moral compass and a sensitive spirit. We make jokes about the fact he was an active child, but really I only remember the sweet moments, holding him in my arms as a baby, his sweet baby smell, how pretty he was. I remember his love for animals and sticking up for others. I remember when he was 14 he built a TV stand for me, I remember when my heart broke for him when he broke up with a girl or when one stood him up. I remember a lot of conversations we had the last few years and the good advice he has given me. If not for him I may have missed a lot of time with my Mom before she passed. In many ways hes the child most like me but he has channeled and grown so that his feelings and emotions work for him (that is his Dads influence) . I am so proud of him and thankful for the blessing he is.
My daughter Cheri is a strong woman, she is like me in that we often live in a dream world and we are emotional reacters. I learner that bit of wisdom from her, shes funny, she’s honest, independent, creative, and really intelligent. We can be loners and isolate ourselves if we aren’t careful. She knows what she wants and you cant talk her out of it. She is beautiful inside and out. As a child she loved being in her room, she loved to read, her feelings were easily hurt and you had to be careful what you said, she’s like my Mom in she can hold hurts and grudges close to her heart, they will forgive you if you are sincere, otherwise your out of luck. She has a good instinct about people. I am amazed by her, proud, and grateful. I miss her.
My daughter-in-law Casey is an amazing woman. She is beautiful, brilliant, and kind. She is easy to talk too. She is an amazing mother. I admit I am a little in awe of her. She keeps going and doesn’t give up, I am lucky she is in our life. She is an old soul, I am so appreciative of the fact she has listened to me and made me feel as if I was heard (what a gift).
Casey and Pat have gifted me with 2 gorgeous granddaughters. Clare looks like her Mom (mini me), she is thoughtful and kind. She likes sparkly things and shoes, I absolutely adore her.
Ellie is our baby, active, smart and full of personality. Sometimes when I see pictures of her laughing, the smile, the spirit, and charisma remind me of my Mom.
I know I am lucky to have children who are good human beings. I made so many mistakes as a Mom (will write about it one day), I feel a lot of guilt. I want to apologize but I don’t know if that is what they need. I am thankful God has taken care of them. When they we’re babies I prayed every day for their happiness, health and safety, and that they would have a joyful life. I still pray for that. I want so much for them, I wish I could do more. I love them.